If relationships are meant to help us see ourselves more clearly, then it’s important to look at the moments when friction takes place as well as the flowy, fun, heartfelt, connected, inspiring ones. Same as in life. We take the bad with the good. Both are equally important in recognizing where we block the flow of energy in ourselves – eventually growing, maturing and expanding as human beings – and recognizing our true nature.
No big deal, right?
Sure, I’ve been on this exploratory personal journey. Ups and downs abound. I feel the rush and flow of the universe pushing me high and pulling me low and go with it. I deal. I balance. I reflect. But all of this is through my own filter and on my own terms.
I’m often spending time with fellow travelers, but never all the time or for more than a few days at a time. We’re all on our own journeys and come and go as we please. Leave it up to an old friend visiting me here to throw me off my game.
It’s easier for me to fully express my disagreements with someone I’ll never see again. It’s utterly inconsequential. But in a long-term relationship and counter to what one might think, sometimes it’s difficult to say exactly how I feel at all times, whether it’s for political reasons or for want of preserving the state of the relationship.
For me, this is a major lesson I’m still learning about.
I can shoot love beams from my chest and prana out of my ass on a tropical island filled with consciousness expanding activities and love mongering hippies, but as soon as I step out of that environment and am faced with disconcert with a good friend, suddenly my flaws are shoved in my face and I get to learn. Thanks, Lindsay!
It’s interesting when this dynamic happens with friends because friendships are supposed to be peachy all the time, but the reality is they’re not. And these, like any other relationship, give us an opportunity to look at and better ourselves, even if it’s just to recognize a fault.
It’s too easy to say, “I’m better off on my own;” “She’s the cause of my dismay;” “How can i change her,” etc. But then, we’re stuck in our own patterns and karmic wheels. Our problems never get solved and our relationships never grow.
I take a passage from an article on Mind Body Green:
“Remember, we all move to practice, but we need to work to expand. We can first start by being completely open to receive something new to challenge that which is old. It can be a healing, an idea, or a difficult pose. This is not a bullshit new age sentiment; You have to want it and bring awareness to it.”
– Dr. Emill Kim in What a Backbend Can Reveal About Your Life –
So, I get to see I have trouble expressing my new ideas about the world in established relationships. I think they won’t understand. I’m afraid of being different and losing their faith. Breaking out of old thought patterns is easy when I’m with brand new people in a brand new place. But this proves a bit harder to stay with when I’m faced with someone who expects me to be a certain way. Imagine these challenges when I’m back in the U.S.!
I get to see I can let people in fully but only for small amounts of time, and then I start to feel burdened. I still don’t know how to let all this Life in AND manage a close relationship at the same time. Unwilling to let the negative feelings go, my ego strives to figure out how to change this thing or person. But of course, it’s impossible to change anything outside of ourselves.
These are old patterns.
Energy’s innate nature is transient. Trying to figure out the blockage only exacerbates the stagnation.
It’s these moments when we have choice to stay in our bodies with the feeling. If it doesn’t move, take the risk and communicate. Often times the singular act of expression without blame helps to unblock the path or create new ways for the energy to move.
All we are are conduits for energy. Look at the discourse in our relationships as reflections of ourselves and opportunities to grow. Take risks with our loved ones and don’t hold back.
the grass over here 