Sometimes it feels like the divine flow of life spit me out onto its bank and meandered somewhere out of my immediate sight. But I am in fact always in the stream of life, no matter the speed or pressure or conspicuousness.
Not all is gained from nothing. We must give up something to get anything. This is the Law of Nature. Surrender that which is most precious to you – perhaps your ego, your heart, an attachment – and see what happens. The most rewarding bounties come out of these actions.
A friend and yoga teacher, Yogishi, said to me the other day, “The only thing I want in life is to be happy and to live to my highest potential.”
I too have shared this same sentiment along this trip and given up all ambition to see the path Spirit laid forth. This path is always there, but not always apparent. This is the highest truth: The Law of Nature. Every other ambition involves some impermanence that will eventually prove hollow. When we open ourselves to the universe, she opens herself up to us.
I’ve barely begun to break ground on this notion of total surrender. The daily grind, excitements and disappointments are incredibly easy to slip back into. Sometimes running around in circles with a blindfold on our face pushing an empty wheel-barrow is just what we need to realize how goddamn silly we are.
But if we consistently ask ourselves what actions we could take to benefit our highest potential we might find more purpose and fulfillment in our daily lives, no matter what the outcome is. Acting solely for the purpose of our highest good can only benefit us as a result and the world at large. We turn the focus back inwards for the answers and our actions are no longer goal-oriented. Our minds and hearts automatically open to Possibility and we become aware of the infinite flow of life streaming through each and every one of us. There are no wrong answers here. There is no second place. This is the Law of Nature.
I’ve given up my plans for India to return to Thailand. Nepal has felt vacuous at times, and I yearned for the depth and magic I felt in Koh Phangan, yet my meditation practice is deeper than it’s ever been and I am clearer and more solid than I was when I left Thailand.
The valuable lessons I learned in Nepal and a bit of India were set a midst rugged mountains, simple village life and easy-going Nepali people who housed and fed me. I’ve tasted Tibetan Buddhism, a mind-blowingly complex religion. Kathmandu is what I imagine the end of the Earth and a fiery hell to be, yet the people all over the country are so gentle and kind. Many know at least a little English and extend themselves to talk and share with foreigners – a welcomed change from Thai people. I give my deepest gratitude to Nepal and hope to one day be back for some incredible mountain treks.
I realize I am just a tadpole in this infinite stream. Life isn’t just about gaining. What can I give up today?
the grass over here 